Why you’re unfulfilled

There is no shortage of hard working people. There is a shortage in passion, focus and vision

You lack passion

Passion is one of those things you know about but cannot always define it very well. When you’re waking up before the alarm clock. When you can barely go to sleep. When you have to be torn away to go to sleep.

That is passion.

Passion is about what you are trying to accomplish with your life. What your ‘spare’ time includes. Who is included and most importantly why.

You lack focus & goals

More than likely if I was to ask your top 10 things you want to accomplish this year you couldn’t list them out. If I was to ask what you wanted to accomplish in the next 5 years the odds are you couldn’t list out 10 either. The same for your 10 and 20 year goals.

What vision do you have of yourself? Of the people around you? Why have you neglected the one thing that will make you fulfilled?

Comfortably Numb

It’s easy to exist

You’ve lowered your standards instead of making yourself better. Some in this world at one time believed themselves to be unstoppable forces of youth. Then one thing after the other beat them down until they kept adjusting their standards. Lower and lower until they are comfortable, unquestioning and existing.

Stop wishing your goals were easier. Start wishing you were better. Then start elevating yourself with the needed steps to make yourself better.

Steer clear of people who say “If I only had a million dollars I’d…”

The funny thing about those who have enough money to never work in their life is they never even think of it that way. Theres plenty of reasons to keep working for them beyond money. One of the keys is they’ve past the first threshold which is an unending burning focus on improving themselves. We should all strive to improve ourselves every day. That is the difference between those of us who work by choice and everyone else. Those who HAVE to work use words like “If I only had a million dollars” Where those CHOOSE to work go “I can’t wait to grow”.

Outlook

It’s just as easy to be a pessimist as it is to be an optimist. If you’re empirically sensitive, like myself, you’ll proclaim yourself a realist. The glass is neither half empty or half full but completely full. One half belonging to liquid the other belonging to air. If your eccentric the glass is too big.

Despite all of them. It’s easy to change the way you look at the world. The problem with most people is they have poor thinking skills. Poor outlook is for those who are poor. I don’t mean fiscally poor. I mean poor in spirit and mindset.

Having an outlook focused on consuming instead of creating. Being a good follower instead of a good student. Blaming external forces instead of determining what you could have done better.

A poor outlook is one of the biggest causes to a failure to being fulfilled. You may not be where you want to be and that’s fine. In fact that’s the hall mark of ambition not being really satisfied with where you are but that’s a different beast than not being satisfied with WHO you are.

Obsessed with consuming vs creating

Consuming is expensive. It costs the one thing you have a limit of. Time. One of the biggest challenges to consuming things like video games and movies and tv shows is that you’re costing yourself time and true experiences.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch your favorite show. I’m saying excessively watching or playing is terrible for your bottom line. There is such a high cost to your time that you’re throwing it out.

Instead of watching a reality tv show hooked to whatever antics is being dramatically shown off maybe we should be painting, writing poetry, creating a book, going out and experiencing something. Even better if you’re not fullilled. If you’re not happy where you’re at then finding a way to improve your skills. Finding a way to build your discipline and creating the habits and rituals needed to make you go beyond who you are today.

Change

If you were to ask me the best time to plant a tree? It would be 20 years ago or today

Despite all the reasons why you could be unfulfilled in life there is one thing you can do. Immediately. It’s very easy. That is change. Change is a simple, easy and yet very powerful thing. It’s easy to change.

You can change as much or as little as you like. It’s an active choice. It’s a decision to move forward to be the very best you can be. It’s a decision to try to learn as much about your craft as possible. To be the best father or mother as possible. To give away as much as possible and to help others become not good followers but great students. It’s simple.

The challenge that you face isn’t that being the very best version of yourself is difficult. The problem is it’s just as easy to be a mediocre version of yourself. Remember outlook? Outlook is your perception of the world.

We react to the world based on how we think things are. Not how they really are.

Because of this your outlook gives you a perspective of what is easy and what is not. If you strip well known billionaires like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg you’d find they’d be quickly back to where they are at. Sure they may not be billionaires because sometimes it’s a combination of things but you know they’d be fulfilled and at least millionaires. The reason why is they’ve embraced the life. They are passionate. They work hard on themselves. They challenge their thoughts and are hard thinkers.

When you let go of what you are, you become what you might be

They, just like you can, looked at a big massive goal of theirs and decided that to achieve something that is beyond their ability that they would have to change beyond what they are today.

This is scary for people because it stops putting the blame on the system, the blame on whether Democrats or Republicans are in charge. Whether it’s raining or the economy is down or if the spouse is slowing them down. It puts the success and failure on them. It also puts the reigns in their hands.

Instead of following the plans of others they are listing out the goals they want to achieve and the means by which they can do that.

Remember it’s just as easy to be the very best you can be or a mediocre version. It’s just as easy to open up a book and start to read as it is to turn on the television and watch the antics of a dysfunctional group of people to make you feel better about your circumstances.

Sure the system could be slanted against some. They may be facing extreme adversity but what do you think is going to change faster? You or the system? You or the government? You or the planet?

You. It’s easy to change you. Now if you’ve been thrilled about the last couple of years keep doing what you’re doing. If you’re not then it’s time to let go of your current self and make some plans to change. When you let go of what you are, you become what you might be. That is just as easy as staying who you are now.

The Act of Progress

Humans are inherently thrilled about the prospects of progress. We get excited at change. it’s one of the biggest reasons why we love origin stories of superheroes. To watch them come into their potential. There is something inspiring for most of us when that happens.

If you aren’t fulfilled you need to find what gets you ready to jump out of bed. What keeps you up at night. I’m talking about your passions. Once you know what your passions are you can start making plans to go there, especially if you aren’t there right now.

If you know your passions and aren’t there start growing. Stay positive at your work. It may seem hard but that’s outlook. Being thrilled to achieve the max at a job you don’t like is just as easy as trying to avoid doing any work at your job.

Set goals and micro-achievements

It’s just as easy to exist as it is to live

The most successful people in the world have been studied exhaustively. Reams of data have been collected and if there is one universal thing it’s that they are not interested in just existing. They are interested in thriving. They dream while awake and keep moving towards that dream acquiring skills and growing as fast as they possibly can.

It all goes back to outlook. It’s just as easy to exist as it is to live. Finding your passion and embracing some of the struggles of being the best possible you is apart of living. Doing your very best every day will start doing something magical to you. You’ll feel more confident. You’ll feel happier. You won’t feel self-conscious.

The easiest way to do this is to start setting goals. Start small, be specific and quantify your outcomes. Celebrate often and early. Start with one thing every day you could do and then be delighted with that. If you need to be a healthier person, you know you’re supposed to do exercise but haven’t forever get up and walk around the block. When you get home celebrate with a dance, a cheer or a congrats to yourself. Keep moving forward until you’re fit.

Embrace intellectualism

We should embrace an open mind without attachment

There has been a growing acceptance and embracing of the ‘nerd life’ but there has been more and more of a rejection of pure intellectualism. If you want to be a better version of yourself you don’t need to work harder at your job. There are plenty of hard workers out there. Lots of people who are showered with praise. What we should be doing instead is working harder on ourselves. Our skills. Our way of thinking. Our outlook. Our rituals. Our habits.

Commit to learning. It’s never been easier to learn something than today. Whole college degrees have been made available for free. Udacity, Coursera, Udemy and Youtube all have the means. There are books galore. There is no reason for your skills to stay the same or in this fast moving world diminish.

I personally commit to reading two books a month. The process of being in startups has forced me to read for hours on how to do things.

Let me make something clear. You don’t have to be the brightest person to embrace intellectualism. I was lucky and received some very high IQ genes. I however have met passionate people in the wood working, carpentry, plumbing, computer and mathematical fields who I am clearly intellectually higher but I do not have their skills or knowledge sets. You do not have to be a rocket scientist or rank in the top 2% of the world in IQ to embrace a student mindset.

If you can learn to be a great student you’ll know how to embrace intellectualism.

#YOLO more than shots on Friday

Love is a choice

Everyone is so afraid of being taken for a fool these days. We’re afraid, as humans, of being vulnerable. One of the easiest ways to overcome this is to realize you only live once. You only have so much time. You can only do so many things. Why not be the very best you can be. Be the best parent, the best child, the best in your company. Go travel. Donate your time to a cause.

Grow at your skills, take risks, learn a new language, religion or sport. When you are taken by one make the easy decision to master it.

Love is a choice. It is not a reaction or a series of complicated nuances. It’s the active decision to do something such as love life. Love the world. Love that you are growing and expanding. Loving that you are doing the very best every day.

The reason why you are not fulfilled is because you are choosing the worst of the easys instead of the best. The great thing is you can today start choosing the best of the easies. It’s easy to learn, it’s easy to be the best, it’s easy to excel.